Reasonable Accommodation: Just Another Term for Legislated Marginalization

Quebec, you are my home. I love you. I love your markets and your lively streets; I love your pocket neighborhoods and your commitment to the greater good. I love your pacifism, your reason, your academy. I love your linguistic plurality, your dry humor and your outdated armed forces. I love your loose public health codes and your flexible importation laws. I love your jazz festivals, your lights, your seaway. I love the way you roll your eyes at bar crawling Bostonians. But this year, you've let me down. If I belonged to the Netherlands, I'd be saying the same thing to her.

As Canadians, we pride ourselves on being the friendly neighbors to the north, a Utopia of sorts, where we reject assimilationism and support pluralism, we give everyone health care, we love our public universities, and we condemn the war in Iraq. And yet, today I see an very anti-socialist rigidity and racism bubbling under the surface of my home and native land. And if this is happening inside your borders, Canada, I feel unsafe everywhere else, too.

In February of 2007, Asmahan Mansour, age 11, was given the choice to de-hijab or get off the soccer field. Jean Charest, Quebec's premier, defended the referee's actions. Charest said he played soccer as a boy and recalled a referee telling players to tuck their shirts into their shorts. "It's a case of safety in sports," said Mario Dumont, leader of the Action democratique du Quebec. Safety first. Right.

The broader subject of reasonable accommodation has been in the news in Quebec after the town of Herouxville, comprising 1,300 mostly white, French-speaking residents, adopted a code of standards for immigrants. The code stipulated that: Women should be able to show their faces in public and should also be permitted to drive and write cheques. And it is "completely outside norms to... kill women by stoning them in public, burning them alive, burning them with acid, circumcising them etc." Um. Duh?

And this is not all. In March of 2007, a woman was banned from working as a corrections officer at the Bordeaux prison because she refused to roll up her veil. All this, in a political atmosphere where 'reasonable accommodation' is in hot debate. Reasonable accommodation is a political term used in the PQ in reference to the so-called 'dynamic of multiculturalism' in a predominantly Western, French speaking province.

Legally, this movement is meant to determine to what extent a society should reasonably shape its rules and values to "accommodate" religious or cultural minority citizens. Reasonable accommodation, by my understanding, is meant to draw the line of what is acceptable to the majority in granting equal rights to the 'other.' Lots of pretty words for something very ugly.

Now, a sort of good outcome: Reasonable accommodation has deemed that women wearing niqab can vote, provided they bring with them two other forms of non-photographic identification (this seems reasonable, right?).

Premier Charest publicly acknowledged this as a "bad decision" and said further that the discussion had already occurred in his province, which forbade the practice. I mean, why let them vote at all? After all, real Canadians don't wear niqab.

Worse still, a reasonable accommodation commission has been put together by Charest to investigate these so-called 'unreasonable accommodations'. This two-man commission is scheduled to report back by 31 March 2008. Its formal title is the Consultation Commission on Accommodation Practices Related to Cultural Differences. Its commissioners are professors Charles Taylor, a well-known federalist philosopher, and Gérard Bouchard, a separatist. Doubt can be cast on Bouchard's fitness to serve as an impartial chair, as before the commission held even one public hearing, he announced in an interview that "sovereignty" was the solution to calm Franco-Quebeckers' cultural insecurity.The commission is having ' open' conferences in various Quebec regions, such as the remote Rouyn-Noranda, Sept-Iles and Saguenay, Quebec, where religious accommodation is mostly irrelevant because few minorities exit there. The committee will listen to individuals and organizations and experts in Quebec identity, religion, and integration of 'cultural communities.' But why not in the places that really matter? Because this is just a show - cultural communities have no voice, at least not really.

Before formal proceedings began, Bouchard and Taylor said they found insecurity in Quebec's "pure laine" population in focus groups across the province. The commissioners feel that the paranoia that Muslims, for example, are somehow taking over our society (when they represent 1.5% of Quebec's population) can be countered by facts - as if feelings of insecurity stemmed by bigotry should even be justified at all. (An aside - As once oppressed minorities in Quebec, themselves, French Quebeckers insecurity about loss of culture should be an equalizing factor, but yet again, the marginalized become the marginalizers, I guess.)

And this is on the record. All over the world. I shudder to think of what is said off record and behind closed doors.

Just last year, in 2006, the Dutch banned the burqa and niqab in public.

Dutch MP Geert Wilders: "It's a medieval symbol, a symbol against women...We don't want women to be ashamed to show who they are. Even if you have decided yourself to do that, you should not do it in Holland, because we want you to be integrated, assimilated into Dutch society. If people cannot see who you are, or see one inch of your body or your face, I believe this is not the way to integrate into our society."

These are not new issues, but when I am faced with the same line of reasoning from otherwise open and liberal individuals, daily about whether I'll ever, gasp, cover my head, I get very very sad. I'd like for a second, to pull each person out of their paradigm and talk about equality and feminism within the Islamic framework. But I am not sure I'm the best person to articulate it yet. However, here's a pretty standard secular argument that also works: As a woman I have the right to wear tight jeans and low cut tops in public; I have a right to be free from harassment because of this. The body is not supposed to be public domain, and we, as women, have a right to not be commodified or objectified regardless of our clothing choices. If I can take it off, can't I also put it on? Why is what I wear as a woman still, and again, so politically significant? Why am I so highly policed, and my choices, so highly charged? There is still a blatant inequality in existence, the way I walk in the world is now a political symbol of progress or regression. We've come so far as Westerners that we've doubled back over and violated our own beliefs.

Where is the discussion? Where is the pluralism? Where is the acceptance and understanding that we, as feminists, as Quebeckers, as academics, and as the so-called 'culturally competent,' so pride ourselves on? Why can't we see that what we want to build is understanding? We lack humility, and we have a surplus of fear at our disposal that we can use to justify our bigotries. We fear "islamists" and sikhs and all those other words that really just mean "not us."

Have my people become so linear in their thinking that they forgot the premises from which they began? Think women's liberation, think religious freedom - all those TENETS (sigh.) that we've fought for in recent history, with suffrage as the leading example. Recently, we burned our bras and lost lives for equality, we fought in wars to promote religious freedom. And now we are the same people who support a premier who tells little girls that they are not 'progressive' enough to play on the field. A piece of clothing becomes an insurmountable emblem of difference? Or, is it because she was challenging the dominant belief that women who wear hijab aren't liberated?

She was Canadian enough to play soccer, and therefore she had to be stopped? Was it just too confusing for people? Would it somehow soften the images of Muslim women to Canada's white secular children to be playing alongside a hijabi? I don't know what the underlying roots of the issue are, but I'm pretty sure some of these arguments might apply.

It doesn't really matter though. In the end, the message to Asmahan and girls like her is this: "You are oppressed because you wear that. Your line of thinking is wrong. My line of thinking is right. Yield to my line of thinking or I'm going to show you what oppression really feels like."

And to Asmahan, I'm pretty sure it wasn't her hijab that made her feel unworthy or oppressed on February 18, 2007. It was the ref. And the premier. And all the people who feel entitled to see her hair - as if seeing it is somehow their human right. Because her rights and her beliefs don't actually matter. They aren't 'ours' (meaning her beliefs don't belong to the majority), so therefore, it is clearly unreasonable to accomodate them.

What It's Like to Fly Off the High Dive

La ilaha il Allah. That was the climb, and now I'm in mid-air. My stomach is full of excitement and I am light.

When I first took shahada the next months were spent full of fear. Fear of what would be said about me, fear about my ability to follow through, fear that taking this step was something I could not reverse. I was afraid of how my family would feel, what my friends would say, and about whether I'd find someone who would love me despite my 'strangeness.' Fear really ruled my life, January through August. Sometimes it was better than others. Sometimes it was nearly unbearable. I've always been a "hope for the best, prepare for the worst," type of person, and unfortunately, this new and difficult change was something one cannot prepare for, which compounded my anxiety. In the beginning I was met with a cacophony of reactions, but I was certain that even the most supportive of my friends would change their minds upon seeing me pray or realizing that this was 'for real.' Some did. Some really awful things were said to me. The worst did happen. And coming out of it, I still had faith. I had no choice.

And then, Alhamdulillah, I saw Ramadan approach.

I took a deep breath, I closed my eyes, I rolled my shoulders back...

I prayed with people. I carved out time to learn new surahs and began making sure I woke up for fajr. I practised fasting. I made du'a. I put on hijab and drove myself to the masjid. I've forced myself to endure the quizzical stares (and made sure I didn't mistake them for hostile ones). I ignored the hostile ones. I've allowed myself to be corrected when I made mistakes. I began to give salaams even if they aren't returned. I began answering questions (even the hard ones) and promoting discussion with the people who matter to me. And finally I'm not afraid anymore. And this has nothing to do with me. This has to do with five. Five prayers a day, every day, to the One that matters. It has to do with swallowing hard, choosing faith and diving in. It has to do with feeling certain that I'll belly flop, knowing that it will hurt, and doing it anyway because it's worse to stand on that wavering board so far up, looking down.

People ask me about my path to Islam almost every day. Surely every time I enter a mosque and tell someone my name, the questions begin. It happens when I'm buying groceries and the butcher mistakes me for one of his, speaks to me in Egyptian, and I have to ask him to slow down, in my own halting formal Arabic. He smiles, asks my name, where I'm from, and yells for his buddies to come meet "the convert who passes for shami." Non muslims wonder too, for different reasons. After jumu'a today I stopped by Old Navy. I was still wearing hijab because I can't bring myself to take it off in public. The man at the register was really nice, but spoke a bit loudly to me, and enunciated unnecessarily. I smiled, choosing not to be annoyed and handed him my credit card. "Katherine Downing!" he exclaimed. I just laughed and said "that's me!" Because it is.

Everyone is curious. And I don't mind. So I might as well get comfortable in this space.

What everyone else thinks or thought or will think in the future is out of my control, and if I get caught up in predicting it or worrying about it, I'll miss the point entirely, which is to get comfortable with my place in the world, to be a good person and cultivate my connection with Allah, who encompasses and commands all those things. That's my perspective, and I believe that if I believe, the rest will fall into place, insha Allah. And it has been falling into place, more neatly than I'd even hoped it would.

Johnell at work, for example, surprised me today. I walked out of the office bathroom wearing hijab, getting ready to go to prayer. "Wow!" he responded. I looked at the floor bashfully - it was the first time my co-workers saw me wearing it. Before I could speak he said, "Girl, you still fine. Do what you do. Don't look at the floor. See you after prayer." I opened my mouth. Closed my mouth. Smiled and went to prayer.

I really couldn't ask for more.

But then, my friend Melissa came over for dinner. We've known each other since middle school. She's been incredibly supportive of my Islam, almost unquestioningly so. We broke the fast at 7:14 with dates and milk. I explained why, and then I went to pray. I prayed maghrib in my office, and when I finished I looked up to find her crying in the doorway. "I hope I didn't scare you," I said, "it's just prayer..."

"No, Katie," she responded, "You are beautiful that way. I hope it's ok, I wanted to pray with you."

And so, I reiterate, I could not ask for more.

And this is what it's like to fly off the high dive. You climb and you climb to the top of the diving board. It takes forever. Your heart begins to race. You hesitate mid-climb, you look down and realize you can't climb down. You get to the top, the board is slippery with water. You hear the echos of swimmers below. Your whole body tenses. You walk, gingerly, toes pointed, scared. The board vibrates. You almost lose your balance. You get to the edge, your weight bends the board, you bounce, you hesitate, and then you breathe... At this point, you've waited as long as possible, you have no other option. You jump. And really, the climb is much much scarier than the descent.

Pathos

A feeling of sadness and longing that is not akin to pain, and resembles sorrow only as the mist resembles rain. (Longfellow)

I wandered for two and a half years and somehow tonight I am at the beginning of the circle - that's what it looks like in my head, the beginning of a circle, if that makes sense. It's certainly the way the air feels. Crisp, below 65 degrees (Farenheit, now, which reminds me that it's not a circle after all) and clear. It feels as if everything paused and I am again at my arrival, and some cinematographer has dulled it into sepia tones. It is beautiful like this. The way it should have been, two years too late, and right on time.

The year 2005.

To come here and study and be near family. To do the right thing. To take comfort in pages and watch the seasons change. To grow up. And to have nothing distract or disturb that. Right.

All of a sudden I'm lighter and younger, and my arrival here is not clouded by a whirlwind of heartache or the chaos of distraction. It is finally what I envisioned in time for me to leave, and I am nostalgic.

What could have been, if life hadn't happened. Isn't that always the way? (and of course I wouldn't change it, so don't bother asking)

Where would I be now, if things had gone my way? What would I have become if you and you and you hadn't happened? If the autumn breeze hadn't turned into the blizzard of the unpredictable. I wavered and it won. But one finally learns the game and then it changes. So I'm not saying anything new. I'm sure you aren't shocked.

I still accomplished my goals. Over budget and behind schedule, but still. A few opportunities squandered, the important ones salvaged. Some lovely surprises. The worst case scenario played out, but it wasn't so bad.

I fear less now. I know less now. Am I finally resolute?

The air still feels like Autumn. The beginning of a circle. A romantic memory that is still to come and has already passed. A second chance.

Many new plans, or rather, old plans, resurrected.

This Week In Quotes, By Kate Downing

"Sister, why are you here? All the converts go to the masjid in Columbia Heights."
-Sister before prayer at Masjid Al Huda

"Oh, what color is the sister? Does she want to get married?"
-Anonymous brother on the telephone

"What style of hijab does she wear? (Pause after answer) I'm sorry. I can't help you." -Woman from a Muslim service agency

"How much do you weigh?" -Brother calling about potential room for rent, on the phone

"Sometimes I just shake my head and say, 'I need to leave now.'" -Valerie, a warrior poet.

Subhan Allah. I know it's some bad press, but we gots to deal wit dese issues, yo. I'm so disappointed.

We're all the same...see...

A versus B: The Grass is Always Green Up in Hurr, No Matter What Yours Might Look Like

Everything you see has its roots in the unseen world. The forms may change, yet the essence remains the same. Every wonderful sight will vanish; every sweet word will fade, But do not be disheartened, The source they come from is eternal, growing, Branching out, giving new life and new joy. Why do you weep? The source is within you And this whole world is springing up from it.
- Jelauddin Rumi

I am not a character from Sesame Street bouncing around blindly spouting off hallmark card-worthy platitudes. I know very well that life is sometimes dirtier than some wax bouquet of flowers and more rotten than some touched up, clichéd hopelessly surreal and overly photographed bowl of cherries. I do, however, look at life critically and try to parse out the positives whenever possible. I'll admit that I might seem naive, but the truth is, I've seen enough suffering and been there enough times myself, to know that it's not a good place to live.

Recently, a friend of mine scoffed at my writing, insinuating that it is trite and overly optimistic. I can take the criticism. But for the record, I believe that my friend is the one who should adjust his view, if only for his own sake.

So yea, I tend to take the 'A' perspective, 'cause the grass on my side of the fence is the only green I'll ever get to see, regardless. I am certain that we profoundly impact ourselves and our environments simply by the choices we make in the way we choose to view our surroundings. If you need proof, take a look at the following microscopic photos of water that were showcased in the popular documentary, "What the Bleep Do We Know?!"

The first image is of a particle of water effected by the simple idea of love and gratitude.



In contrast, the following photo is what happens when water comes into contact with the feeling 'You make me sick. I will kill you.'



Pretty astonishing stuff to think that a mere thought can reverberate to cause a direct change in something completely outside of the mind. The crux of the film, and I guess my post as well, is this: If our thoughts as humans can do that to water, imagine what we do to ourselves, internally. Seriously, I'm not trying to plagiarize the documentary, especially since they use this idea to support atheism, but honestly, so much of our suffering simply belongs to us. And although I'm not perfectly positive all the time, I truly don't want to play like that.

I believe that love abides, and that our differences destroy us, so therefore we must find commonality. I despise meanness in all its forms, and I prefer to hope rather than to despair. And if we get less than 100 years to live, I'd like to wear those pink glasses, and live in a way that allows me to do so. So yea, I like movies like The Notebook and Serendipity, and I believe in fortuity, and I look for the silver lining. If I don't look for it, after all, there is no way I will ever see it. And usually I can find it, in people, and in places, and in myself.

And that's the way it is with faith. It is a choice. And I prefer faith over doubt and promise over probability any day. And if that means I have further to fall in the face of ugliness, so it shall be. Call me naive or idealistic, but in a world where mental health is studied by looking solely at infirmity, I prefer a positive psychology approach to life and living. And I look for these conditions, rather than the negatives, in the people who surround me: wisdom, knowledge, courage, humanity, justice, temperance and transcendence. I find combinations of these things in each of you all the time.

Because when we look for these things, we find them, Alhamdulillah. And when we remember to see this way, the world is a much truer place to be. So if you are looking for a person who will commiserate with you on life's misery, I'm not your girl. But if you are constantly amazed at the heartbreaking mixed bag that the Universe unfurls for us each day, even despite some of its drudgery, here I am. I am for you.

On Limonata: My Parents' Passive Ambivalence about My Journey to Islam

I think they don't want to believe it's true. I think they are waiting out this phase, or trying not to stir the proverbial pot of my muslimness by staying utterly and completely silent. They haven't asked me a single question. I told them months ago.

On the surface they 'support me' and are 'fine with it,' but I'm just waiting for the day it becomes real for them. I hope they don't do what my friend Rebecca did, which was lose her mind and say a bunch of really offensive things, only to disappear for a few months and not return my calls. I'm thinking they might freak out a bit, but I'm hoping they won't disappear, insha Allah. It wouldn't be like them.

When I say that they haven't asked a single question, that doesn't mean that they haven't said anything. Actually, my mother has said a few things, namely recapitulations of "It's just not what I imagined for you." My dad has mentioned "Origin of the Species" a few times under his breath. But they are accepting it in their own Midwestern way, I think. I'd love to say that my parents are so progressive that it's all roses and sunshine, and that they said 'ok' to my announcement without that palpable tightness of concern in their voices. But the truth is they are doing the best they can with what they have.

If it were true that they accepted my conversion unquestioningly directly off the bat, they wouldn't be Marcia and John, and they wouldn't have raised me in the same way, and therefore I may not have become Muslim in the first place. So in a circular sort of way, I should be thankful for their instinct to worry first and accept later. And besides, I haven't done the best job of explaining it yet (partly because I don't think they've been ready and partly because I haven't been able to find a graceful segue into discussion).

Right now, all they have to go on is their knowledge of the American political climate (harsh), their own secular paradigm (where cultural competency doesn't always lead to understanding) and a book I just gave them by Susan Haneef. Given that, I think they are doing pretty well. A few non-verbal things are changing which gives me hope:

My dad stocks fun non-alcoholic drinks for me in their fridge and my mom bought me a long skirt today at Marshall's. I'd say that's a solid beginning to what I hope will be a positive and continuous discussion and a learning experience for all, insha Allah.

A lot of people have it much worse when they make such a seemingly drastic life change, so for me, today, the presence of pomegranate soda and limonata in the fridge is a fresh flower on a clear day. We'll work on getting them to understand the other stuff bit by bit.

That said, it really annoys me when people I know get worried that my daughters will feel shamed in their own skin or when people get concerned because I no longer date [I mean, how will I ever find a husband???]. I'm still me. If I believed in women's rights and love before, why would those things suddenly change?

For the misconceptions that my family and friends may harbor I blame (in no particular order): the rigid hypocrisy of privileged white feminism, the people who own the news, Jack Straw, Betty Mahmoody, and Muslims (like me), who do a terrible job of addressing those misconceptions when they arise.